Little hearts & curious Minds

It's not surprising to see kids speak their mind, ask questions until convinced and have a say in everything that's happening around. We all agree technology rules the world today and kids being so smartly adapting to it is no wonder a boon in a true sense.

If I go back in time when technology had not taken over every household the way it has today... Life was different, however it has certainly brought a revolution in the current generation in terms of everything .. Be it their way of thinking, adapting, learning or performing.

Years back, we as kids had no role to play when it came to decision making of any sorts... We blindly followed what we were told to and never questioned any decision... thinking that's how it's supposed to be. Whereas kids today have an opinion and their say in every matter they hear parents talking. They have intelligent and relevant questions about any particular situation that's being discussed in their presence. Which of course is a revolution of some kind for me whose seen both the generations.

Today I feel so proud when I see a younger generation being able to talk about most of the things we discuss... My five year old was well aware of the Cricket World Cup series that was held this year... And that's not all...he had all the relevant questions to ask that one could expect..Where was it held?, the time difference of day and night, the countries playing? and understood the game pretty well too. It felt great to see a five year old enjoy the game as much as any elder would do.

The other day I saw a bunch of kids discussing about US Presidents visit to India during Independence Day. Kids basic nature of wanting to learn something new every day and share along is nothing less than a genius.When it comes to sports and choosing their favourite players.. They know it all.. speaks of the clarity of their thoughts and minds.

In our times I still remember we were asked to read books to improve our general awareness and current affairs... Well that's passé. Today awareness of happenings around is a part of learning each day.

When it comes to the most common question of..What do they want to become when they grow up

They have the answers ready at the tip of their tongues ... Of course the credit goes to the exposure they get at such an early age of all kinds through media, televisions, newspapers and so on.

Children ask dozens of questions whole day long, while at play, while travelling, while watching tv, even when told a story... Anything that catches their attention.. They don't wanna just let it go ... Their ability to not give up until answered is like a hungry mind wanting to learn so much more.

This is the generation which has the potential plus the preferences so as to speak what interests them and what not. They can clearly differentiate their likes and dislikes. I still remember whenever we had a choice to pick from ... I always got confused and went by what parents decided for me.. and it always felt right and convenient.

Starting from what clothes to wear, what to eat, what toys and presents to buy plus birthday themes and who to invite ... The list is endless but their choices are firm and they are well aware of their wants.

The most amazing was the Swacchata Abhiyan run by PM Mr. Modi ... The celebrities did it for the cameras but our kids followed it with the true spirit and spoke of it openly and questioned fearlessly when saw someone not abiding by it.

A child's viewpoint should never be disheartened or suppressed.. Let their ideas flow.. as restricting them would give birth to fear and failure, which are the biggest obstacles on the road to success.
Give them a chance to do it their way, freedom brings in peace and ability to perform the best...

Questioning is the best form of learning... To be able to question correctly .. one must be able to comprehend and think beyond whats been told... It's a clear indication that a child's mind is curious and is eager to learn ... Never set a limit to a learning.. It's always hungry for more.

They have the courage, they have the brains, they have the voice... All we as parents and teachers need to do is ...instill the values that can bring the real revolution in our society in the times to come. We play the most vital role in exposing them to as much knowledge as we could and answer their queries appropriately for them to reason out and think differently.

They have the mind we need to feed them with knowledge, they have the ability to learn and grasp ... We need to ensure we set the right examples, they have the dreams to make big... We need to let a helping hand for them to reach it.

15 minutes of fame.. Is it worth it?

We can't deny the fact that motherhood is one of the most beautiful experiences in the world.
It makes a women more compassionate, kind, giving, forbearing, soft and tender... It's true to say a child gives birth to a mother, cause even a women who experiences this transformation wasn't aware of the loving and caring side she had within herself before bearing a child.

However this selfless love for the child can make mothers run into an unhealthy competition.

We all appreciate a competitive spirit, but how would you feel when some mothers get aggressive and exhibit over anxious and domineering behaviour when it comes to their kids win the competition? Believe me or not but it's true that some parents become so abrasive in order to establish superiority among others.

I agree, as parents we feel proud and thrilled to see our little ones winning the race or being appreciated in a crowd or a group, However I have seen parents getting so carried away by the fact that their kid should perform the best that they start pressurizing the kid with repeated harsh behaviour and dialogues enforcing victory. At this age when kids are still in the process of learning and understanding the essence of competition ... I feel parents should be glad to see their kids being a part of competition and trying to do as much they could rather than threatening them to win.

Is competition all about winning...?

I am more than happy to see my baby go and stand up there in the competition... Be it a race or any other match.... Let them be themselves, This is the age when they learn through experience and careful observation. I have seen mothers brain washing their kids and getting hyper before hand to ensure their kid win. Well I don't mind you take the trophy home.... But not at the cost of hampering his confidence and self esteem through your stressful act.

Are we being unreasonable about our kids abilities ?  

Every parent is the best judge for their kid and know what their child is capable of.. Setting unrealistic goals for your child will only have them doubt their abilities and lose faith in themselves. Encourage your kids to be a part of any challenge or a competition. Give them a liberty to try and fail.. Focus on their efforts rather than on outcome. Soon your kid will realize the true sense of achievement and develop a competitive spirit to take over the world by his best attempts.


Some parents might have a different opinion and question
what is wrong in being competitive ? Who doesn't want to see their kids at the top? 

Well it's great to expose our kids to the world of competition and the number game, but we need to instill the values of a healthy competition. We don't want kids to feel envy of the competitors if he /she fails to win. At times parents become so aggressively involved in such events that they don't realize that their behaviour towards their kid and others can pass a wrong signal for their kids to see. yelling and pressurizing kids in front of others can demoralize them and they feel dejected if they
lose.

Forget kids even we mothers do better when we are not compared to other moms but are appreciated for what we are doing. Most mothers lose their capability and under-perform even for their own kids when they are being judged or interfered by others in the family.

This was an year ago, Like all other mums ... Me too was bitten by the glamour world and applied for this fashion show for my kid. It was just two days before the audition was due ... I thought of giving few tips to my son to prepare him for the audition... But you all know how a 4 yr old behaves... He was least interested and hardly paid any attention to what I was thrilled about... After many attempts trying to get his attention ... and facing all his questions he finally agreed to walk and did little to my expectation to make me happy.

Well , today was the day of audition ... After almost trying a bundle of clothes, I ended up dressing him smartly and was satisfied with the way he looked...

Anyways after reaching the venue, we still had half an hour ... Instinctively got an idea that I can make him practice on the ramp where he has to perform ... But had I forgotten that I was dealing with a 4 yr old ... They usually don't do what we want them to but they have their own moods and wants... Almost all the kids were walking running and practicing on the ramp... I almost felt like fighting a losing battle as my son refused to leave me and even step on the ramp ...tried pushing him a few times, but soon realised if I continue to push him further I would end up spoiling his mood and there might be a scene created instead of a fashion show.... So I finally quit and sat quietly and engaged him in little fun talks and games ....

I saw him become comfortable to see his mum relax as he would see me otherwise. It was difficult for him to understand my sudden change of behaviour for no reason ...It was me who was getting  impatient and stressed for my own needs of wanting to see my son make it in the final show more than my sons needs....After a long wait the audition started ...The hall was full of parents with kids of all age groups... As they called the kids name ...they were to walk the ramp and pose.

Looking at the other kids do so well, I was already disheartened...and knew my son has no scope. All I wanted him to at least leave my lap and go .... Just to keep me away from embarrassing in front of so many ppl. While my mind was busy predicting what would happen... Suddenly his name was called and to my utter surprise... He just got off his seat...went up the stairs walked like a star and posed like some superhero that came naturally to him. I couldn't believe my eyes... He looked so relaxed as if he is been practicing for days... N as soon as he stepped down he asked .. Mamma did I walk well..? Are you proud of me? ..and everyone who heard laughed at his innocent act of confidence and passed me the smile .... I hugged him and said you did a great job my darling.

The whole experience left me so happy and proud that I really didn't care if my son gets selected for the final show or not... I was more than happy to see him go up on to the stage in front of such big audience and do what he did.

What kept me thinking was, If the struggle and stress worth the fame of 15 min ?

As parents we get so stressed and become a part of the rat race and pass the stress on to our kids too without even realising that they are innocent minds unaware of the fact that their mothers are are so desperate for their kids to win ...

He didn't even know what battle I was fighting in my mind through out thinking for him to do well to get selected, but the ease with which he went and did so without even knowing what's the reward
behind it ...


Well, I get a call in few days and I was thrilled to hear that he was selected and he rocked the final show with his innocent style and confidence.

We as parents get so excited about whole concept of being in the limelight that we forget we are forcing us upon our little children.


Are we being mean by forcing our choices n happiness upon our kids ?

No doubt it feels great to see our eye candies doing such big deal at such a small age... But it kind of opened my eyes when I saw some parents really pushing their children to look good...and building pressures to walk as they want them to.  I saw some little girls who were just not  comfortable wearing their hair in certain way, but kept to all that glamorous look just to make their parents happy.

We being the best judge of our kids can also go wrong many times for our own selfish happiness.  By pushing them into something for the fame of 5 minutes..that means nothing to them but a big deal to parents.

I wouldn't say we should not send them for competitions or encourage them to be in one... But also ensure the whole focus behind any competition should not just be winning ... Anything that holds child's interest, comfort and happiness should be the priority at this age... The whole experience should be made fun and learning so that they themselves enjoy being a part of it next time ...But not because we want them to ....

If we really want to feel pride in their victory .. We have to learn to feel pride in their failures too !