To send or not to send ? - Parents dilemma over boarding schools

This was just a week back, when I happened to meet one of the moms, who shared her plans of sending her only child to a boarding school.. Well my first reaction literally came out  as a shock.. like Why ?? with a big question mark.? but as we spoke further.. I kind of came to terms with the fact that it is an option people do consider for their kids...

To be honest, mere thought of not seeing my son even for a day sends shivers down my spine. I really salute those parents who have a heart to stay away from their kids..

You might judge me here, but I know one thing for sure that it's my complete responsibility to become available to my child mentally and emotionally 24/7 at least until I know he is ready for himself ... I can not hand him over to an Academy/school to take care of him.. I understand parents are not trained experts to know the best of all but they surely know the needs of their child better than anyone else. If I have an issue of any kind with my child .. I would rather seek help locally rather than sending him away to boost his confidence..

At the same time, I also admit that all parents want the best for their kid, so if at all parents are consdering sending their kids to a boarding.. There has to be some good in it....

Why do parents even consider boarding schools?
These are some of the reasons I feel justifies parents decision of sending their kids away at boarding..

If a couple is going through a rough phase, it reflects on the child's behavior, In a scenario like this boarding can be considered to avoid the child getting effected by parental fights or unpleasantness at home.

In a situation of divorced or separated parents.. rather than letting the kid stay with one parent, they might consider boarding as a healthy option again.

Boarding schools might come as a relief for Parents who are intensively involved in their professional life and careers and cant devote enough time to the child.

Also Parents who move frequently due to the nature of their jobs.. might choose boarding school as a consistent option for their kids education.

Some kids themselves come up with an idea of going to a boarding school and show keen interest, here the prerogative lies on the parents to decide for the kid but it makes the decision making easier.

Some parents might also decide on sending their child to a boarding if the child is boisterous and has disciplinary issues.. it saves parents from nagging behavior towards kid all the time.

Well in any of the above scenarios, if parents are considering boarding school for their child.. they must not rush into decision making and consider the following tips before a go ahead..

1. Do not force your decision upon your child, communicate with your child about the school, its advantages and disadvantages.. let them express how they feel about the whole idea of boarding, let them come up with questions and clear all their doubts and hesitation about staying away.

2. Visit the school along with your child, let them interact and see for themselves how they like the environment and do they see themselves as becoming a part of school.

3. At any given time, if child expresses sorrow or feels that he is being punished for their bad behavior in the past... attend to it with empathy and let the child understand how this decision will pay him in future.

4. Know your child, think for yourself if the child has the tendency to adapt to new environment. Is your child emotionally strong or needs you around for every little thing? Does the child mingles up and feels comfortable even when away from you or just cant manage without you.

5. Will the child be able to take the pressures of performing academically or succumb to the strict rules and regulations of the boarding schools.

If at all Parents consider boarding schools ... What's the right age to do so? 

Parents play a very important role in a child s life, be it at any age .. parents are the complete support system for their child and means world to them, So as soon you try and take them away from you actually you are punishing them for no fault of theirs... Still if you decide to do so in any given situation.
Primary school children should not be pushed into a boarding, they need you the most during the formative years of their childhood. However joining a boarding at secondary level is still ok. students at this level are slightly older to get accustomed to a new environment and start to learn to live on their own.

I completely agree there are many misconceptions about boarding schools which does not stand true. Here are some reasons that very strongly recommend that one should not hesitate in sending their kids to boarding schools:- 

1. Boarding schools provides with all sorts of extra curricular activities and gives great exposure to sports apart from focusing on academics. This limits our choices when we talk of kids going for regular education.

2. Most importantly kids learn to become self reliant and understand personal responsibility.

 Of course at home they have all the liberties of doing things as per their moods and wants .. Most of the kids turn a deaf ear when it comes to household chores.

3. Kids develop some real good social skills and manners in order to get along and fit themselves in the group as they have no where to hide from.
Kids at home are surrounded by distractions like TV, video games, phone ipads that it leaves no room for developing social skills.

4. Kids at boarding schools end up making some real good friends for life, as they are the support system for each other. This does not happen otherwise as kids can find friends in parents if nothing else works for them.

5. The strict rules at boarding schools focus on discipline, character enhancement, overall personality development which leads to a structured way of life.
Children at home have the liberty to break rules if at all there are any.

Just like nothing in this world comes full proof.. there are some points of concern for parents when it comes to sending kids at boarding schools:-

1. Every kid is not meant to be in  a boarding school. Many kids cant survive the constant pressures and the strict rules of the school and have hard time adjusting which can be highly stressful for the child.

2. For some kids, the separation anxiety from home and family can lead to a feeling of abandonment and cause frustration and homesickness.

3. Shy and introvert kids can feel very lonely which can lower kids self esteem and lead to depression/social isolation.

4. Kids grow up before age.. as they are exposed to various thought processes at an early age.

5. Boarding schools can be very expensive, not every one can afford it. especially the real good and famous ones can be heavy on parents pockets.

6. Kids can get addicted to bad habits like drugs, alcohol, smoking as not all schools are vigilant enough to watch kids every activity.

7. Boarding school kids have high standards set for themselves which might come as a disappointment when dealing with the real world.

8. Parents miss out on some significant years of their kids life, not knowing the details of their life away from home.

9. Even kids lack the bonding with their parents and family members and become detached as ultimately they learn how to be on their own.

10. Dealing with the opposite gender can be uncomfortable and problematic for some who doesn't opt for co-ed boarding schools.

Its always a good idea to weigh pros and cons before you decide to enroll your child for a boarding school. However once decided, here are some tips to ensure your child gets off to a good start...

1. Find out with other parents who are also considering sending their kid to the same school. They might have a company until they make new friends.
2. If your child is homesick, avoid calling him too much over the phone or visiting him often, it will make it more difficult for him.
3. Ensure your child feels safe and you as parents will always be available to him if needed.
4. Don't express your feelings in front of them, that you are going to miss him too much ..rather talk of things you plan to do once he is home.

In my personal opinion, I feel times have changed and today's parents are much aware and have become more involved in child's affairs... An healthy involvement of parents can lead to an all round development of a child even at home.

A National Hero In the Making

Every child is born with a dream in their eyes.. It's for us to read their minds and watch their actions to help them realize their dreams... When I gave birth to a baby boy .. I knew my house is gonna be filled with cars, bikes, superheroes and so on..

When he was around two, we walked in to a toy store to buy someone a birthday gift.. That's when my little one pointed towards a gun and insisted that he wants one .. I was little apprehensive thinking should I or should I not ? am I introducing my toddler to killings and violence.. Many such thoughts ran through my mind.. But eventually I gave in to his demand but what kept my satisfaction was the fact that .. He didn't know its called a gun...

Next thing he asks me is to stop by on the road out of a sudden.. And to my surprise he wanted to say hi to the cops standing by the road side .. He called out loudly hi police and waved his hands.. Was lucky enough to get a respond as they smilingly waved him back... He was on the top of the world .. Jumping and laughing as if he has met his hero ... Anyways ..

This time it was a fancy dress in school when he was in group1, I gave him as many choices as I could but he was damn sure he wanted to become a police, which wasn't there on my list and insisted he wants the full police set. I was lucky enough to get one in his size after hopping from one shop to another. He was so thrilled to have one and just wanted to get back home as soon as he could .. Well I dressed him into it without any delay... He looked adorable and cute little police man ..

As I was ready to click some pictures, he said wait wait ran to the other room.. returned in a minute with his gun tucked in his pants... and his rescue operation was on the go.. Momma call me if you are in trouble .. Will put the bad guy in the locker and so on... It was a task getting him out of the dress until it started hurting him and finally agreed to take off just before bed time ...

Soon after I visited my parents and he happened to see my dads uniform..from the time he had served in Indian Army. Last time when we visited them he had seen Nanu's pictures in uniform but was too small to understand much.. But this time he was so fascinated by the look of his uniform, the cap, the boots that he wanted to wear it all.. Nanu happily entertained all his demands and questions ... and shared his stories how they fought with the enemies to save their land ... and encouraged his dreams by saying he can also become one .. if he eats well, stays fit and healthy..

That day and today.. Nothing has changed .. He lives his dreams through his games, by sharing his made up stories with his friends, through his toys he collected later of an army soldier, an army tank, chopper and much more.. He looks so consumed in his thoughts when he watches an army soldier either in a movie, a photo in a magazine, newspapers.. Merely a mention of the word Army catches his attention instantly and one can see the glitter in his eyes, how his energy levels go up and he is ready to step into their shoes.

Independence Day was just not a holiday for him... he was so thrilled to go for a flag hosting with his army cap on which he brought from his Nanu's house.. as he had to save his country from bad people who can attack us... His straight body posture with an excellent salute didn't go unnoticed .... As he stood throughtout in the respect of the national anthem... Just as a real officer would do.

Today I realise that we have a Military Man in the making, who left me startled when I handed over a gun to him.. Least I knew it's gonna act like a saviour for my baby's dreams.. He feels so strong and fearless with a gun in his hands and keeps the courage to defeat the bad and the evil. Today's kids know good from bad and will never choose a path until guided inappropriately. 

I am a proud daughter of an Army officer.. and I wish my little baby live his dream one day and make the whole country proud of his deeds. Here's a true early starter trying to turn his aspirations into a reality and come out as a National Hero to make his mum and the world proud one day.

Camera is the culprit

Cinema has always been the most popular source of entertainment among adults, families and even for kids. In spite of being a great source of entertainment, it's not very keenly recommended by parents when it comes to watching movies for kids.

I belong to a time and generation when we as kids accompanied our parents for films as an outing but were never encouraged to get fascinated about the whole idea of glamour, fashion and madness behind that reel cinema.

As kids, I still remember we were not freely exposed to film magazines, filthy songs and any other sort of resource that would lead our interest in the glamour world, plus we had so much to do in our times...that movies and films were merely an excitement for an outing and cold drinks.

But when I think of today.... cinema has taken over other sources of entertainment in a very big way..

It's not just confined to the multiplexes or movie theaters but dozen of channels on TV telecast films all day long.

The ones which doesn't show movies, show filthy songs with embarrassing videos & dirty lyrics. If that's not enough there are advertisements adding to the repulsion with skimpy clothes and exposed body ads with some  really  stupid dialogues.                   

Somehow if we manage to skip TV, There are these Newspapers filled with full page movie ads showing skin, posing inappropriately or else filled with blood and violence. Even if you manage to ignore all the above...You can't get so unlucky to miss that condom ad placed right where your eyes can never skip it.

These thoughts never crossed my mind or bothered me all these years of my life but since I am a mother now... I can't turn a blind eye to all that is happening around and let my kid grow before time.

When I hear a 4/5 yr old singing....sari night besharmi ki night and many such absurd songs...

 I literally feel how their parents allow them to watch and listen to such songs...?

Above all it feels so indecent to hear these dirty lyrics coming from kids of such young age, thankfully they don't understand the meaning behind it yet.

Many parents think otherwise that more we keep them away or restrict them from all this more they would get attracted to it, So they let them watch anything and everything that the idiot box has to offer .... Be it Saas bahu serials, item numbers, movie trailers full of violence & bad words and other stuff without giving a second thought.

Now its up to the parents to decide what they think is good or bad for their kids... Well, In that case the safest bet is to limit their TV viewing only to kids channels.

However it changed my mind when I sat one day with him to realize... Bheem being all kids hero only loves to fight and is aggressive all the time. They are all shown saving the princess ...so now when ever I have a girl who comes to play with my son she has to be a princess in trouble and helpless ...so Bheem comes and save her.

Heights of all was.... the day I heard this advertisement and thought my son might have changed the channel but to realize later it ran on kids channel made no sense to me ( a women wearing deep neck blouse being called hot by his father in law) My kid relates hot with weather.

I really fail to understand, why are kids exposed to things or dialogues not appropriate for their age... ?
Why are serial and movie promos running on kids channels?

why are parents not given a choice of deciding whether they want their kids to show the movies or not ?

why obscene item numbers, lewd songs and clippings everywhere on TV?

Restrict it to one channel ... people will have a choice to watch or not.

The full page movie ads in newspapers should be avoided in front pages. Hoardings and movie posters should be kept clean and watchable .... not lusty and vulgar..

On one hand we are feeding our kids with dirt, filth, vulgarity, obscene stuff through songs, movies, hoardings, magazines and newspapers.. On the other hand we are complaining of kids outgrowing their age and misbehaving, teasing and finally assaulting... 

I am not saying this is the sole reason behind all the mishappening in society but is definitely a very big reason of where our society is heading and the way future generation is being misled.

The other day my 5 year old asks me ...why in all the movie posters boys always have a girlfriend ? Well I answered that for him but It won't be surprising if he comes and says next ...mamma I want a girlfriend too.

I am not against boys and girls being together .... In fact we need to instil the values of relationships in our children and how we all play important role in every ones life .. but why make it obscene and present... There are healthy ways of letting kids know that two ppl love and care about each other like their parents do.

The girl boy relationship should not be a taboo...that is seen or projected as a shameful thing.

For all those who think i am being over protective ... must understand there is always a choice of exposing your kids to every thruth in a healthy manner and at a right age....

Camera is the culprit... because it focuses at the wrong places and provides an element to pollute innocent minds. The dialogues and the lyrics should be for enjoyment but not to dilute our thoughts. Many think its just fun and they see and forget at this age .. should remember at this tender age kids learn more from what they see and hear ... And whatever they are exposed to leaves an imprint on their minds.

Worst is even in video games and cartoons... Girls are projected with divulging breasts and as a piece of object to gather attention...where is the need to make these little minds curious of women's body and think of them as some glamorous object ?

why can't girls or women be projected like a normal human being ...and how they look in real world ? 

we must always remember kids understand more than we think they would ... And it's our responsibility to feed them with values, morals, respect and equality.

Lets talk Fashion

Fashion is a way of life and we all wanna live it in style ... Then what is it that stops us from trying different looks when it comes to dressing up... Well there is no doubt that we all shy away from trying anything that's new in the fashion industry and seek an adviser .. Either a friend or someone who knows you well to ensure we don't become a laughing stock of town... That little advise, a suggestion, a complement takes us a long way in assuring our sense of confidence when it comes to fashion or styling...
     
So here I am to give you all that you need when it comes to Styling yourself and stay in fashion... So drop your inhibitions and treat your self like a fashionista...

Today I am gonna take you to the fashion world of Shirt Dresses... We have been wearing shirts from ages... But who would have ever thought of wearing it as a dress minus the pants/ trousers... Well that's the kind of revolution we are witnessing in the fashion industry today and its being accepted and experimented by the fashionistas all over the world...

Here's one of my favourite styles of this season that's cool, comfy, stylish and suits all the occasions be it a party, a get together, a Sunday brunch or an evening extravaganza with the man you love...

All you need to do is style your tresses differently keeping in mind if its a morning or an evening look and accessorize with a chunk of matching jewelry to add that extra spark to your appearance .... 

The latest trend and one of my favourites this season the SHIRT DRESS is grabbing the eyeballs all  around...It's not only rocking the streets in newyork but are also seen by Bollywood celebrities flaunting it at formal events as well as casually on streets...So Its time you throw away your bottoms and flaunt your sexy legs to be the talk of the town...

Check out these pics for yourself to know how Hollywood wears the latest fashion...  the Shirt Dress...

Isn't it so cool and comfortable at the same time when it comes to stepping out in the scorching heat of Mumbai .. and whats better time than the monsoons to keep it short and chic to avoid getting dirty on the streets.. Next time you wanna step out in style take a tip or two from these hot and sexy ladies..

For the ones who are still in doubt ...here are some pics from Bollywood for you to get inspired by one of your favourite actresses to wear the shirt dress in style ....Take a look..

I am sure by now most of you who haven't tried their hands at one these looks would definitely be yearning to get into a shirt dress and steal the limelight or surprise your friends with your latest hot and trendy look...

For little more inspiration for those who are already smitten by this look ...Here's how I flaunted the shirt dress recently...Tried to keep it little formal... keeping in mind you already have the casual looks
showcased by the celebrities above ....

I hope these looks would surely make you go another step further with this fashion trend and add that extra oomph factor to your style.... 

A quick tip for those who just wanna jump off their beds and get into a pair of shirt dress but don't wanna spend big.. Pick one of your favourite shirts from your  boys/spouses wardrobe and get going... Trust me you will grab a complement or two ...while on the way.. 

Is the word International a marketing gimmick for schools?

Selection of school for a child's education is another challenge that every parent has to go through.. starting from play group to a higher level, Finding a school of your choice is an ordeal.

If we look at last ten yrs.. There is no doubt about the fact that number of schools have increased in the city and more so there are separate schools for toddlers to initiate the pre primary education, but it still doesn't fulfil the need of education for all the kids out there..

The times have come when you have to register for admissions as soon as the kid turns 2 or three yrs else you are late for admissions.. And you are refused a seat. That's the kind of competition we parents are dealing with today.

Forget getting admissions in colleges and schools for higher studies... I am talking of the kids who are yet to enter the world of education... The toddlers and above..

Competition has become a part of everyday life, not that we aren't accustomed to it ... But it get on to our nerves when something as basic and important as education sounds like a burden because of the monopoly of schools and its privatisation.

My concern is why getting an admission in most of the city schools is like fighting a loosing battle? Education being the prime right of every child.

More so, after every schools coming up with the International tag has made it worst for the parents to
take a call and decide the child's education.

Is the International tag all about paying big bucks and sending your kid to an ultra model building with all the luxuries available? 

Are we talking of education here or sending our kids to enjoy the luxuries of life which he might not experience at home?

Apart from the international tag, the new introduced boards have added to the confusion.... Be it IGCSE or IB

Didn't we already have enough boards to decide from? 

if people feel existing boards are not superior enough then why not scrap and introduce one board
that's best for all.

Well there is another angel I have heard and read about international schools. School authorities justify by saying those kids who study from international schools adapt to the western culture well
and get admissions in universities abroad.

My counter question is .. Were Indian students not going abroad in past or were they not getting
admissions in their universities before. I have always heard Indian education system is so well
designed that Indian kids are always demanded by companies abroad... If I may truly admit ...all my school friend today are settled abroad in various countries and doing great. They studied Indian boards CBSE/ ICSE  that's always been there.

For a moment if I give up on my argument and agree that international boards are the best, why such 
high fee? Are you charging parents for the education and knowledge you are imparting or is it the 
for the interior designing and the amenities at school?

Who needs a lounge in school for kids to sit and read? Are we not creating differences in kids mind by providing them a five star treatment? Are we teaching them the value for money or is it all about show world?

Are we parents not doing good enough to live a decent life, with our Indian education system?

Schools and education has become a business and a money making racket. Today schools define its value by counting on the facilities they are providing... Like swimming pools, zymnazium, horse riding and what not.

Studies have taken a backstage and the focus is merely on how much can they sell the other stuff to charge more. 

All schools have toppers and mediocres, it can never be guaranteed by the school and its authorities to produce all top grades.

One must not forget the child blossoms even in the most ordinary schools ... What matters is the right guidance and support of a great teacher, who inspires you to think.

Another question is the schools who are boosting of their international curriculum.. Are their teachers trained abroad in their respective boards?

No, these are the same teachers who have studied CBSEand ICSE .. Who are being trained and are
asked to adapt and stick to their new curriculum.

Some argue saying that international board is easy for kids who aren't able to cope with the above
two boards.. i.e, CBSE/ICSE

So are you paying that hefty amount for a kid whose supposedly weaker than the rest... Or is it the new International curriculum that's weaker? 

I would like to ask everyone, are these kids from different schools and board going to face different
set of questions according to their respective boards, when it comes to competitions after 12th std?

If the answer is no... Then why do we have all this confusion, when eventually we are all preparing 

our kids for the same platform. 

Indian education authorities have not even accepted the international curriculum as a part of their Education system and has no subsequent plans ahead for these kids in our country. It's recognition is only acknowledged in universities abroad, which can lead in hampering the child's dreams if for some reason he/she fails to get admissions abroad and will b compelled to study in an institution with others from Indian boards.

Many schools are not even recognised by the  respective boards and lack the credentials and norms to

call it an international school, however adding international tag is paying them immensely. The schools are same, Teachers are same but just one word international is heavy enough to pull in the money from people's pockets.

I am a parent, I have dreams for my child too... I want best education for him to do well in life ... But I refuse to be a victim of this marketing strategy or a gimmick many schools have started.


I strongly believe in a conducive learning environment any child can excel, all we need are basic
requisites for learning and a guiding force for them to show the right path, luxuries at this stage will

not only block their vision but also divert their attention towards comfort and a relaxed attitude.

Don't promise our kids a foreign trip and lure them to unnecessary adventures.. Let the parent decide for a family holiday rather. 

Focus on making the education system better and and the way of imparting knowledge a superior, rather then selling education in the name of international and other luxuries.

Standardise education in all schools, focus on improvising easy and creative ways of teaching to ensure Indian kids shine bright nationally as well as internationally.

Introduce yoga and instill our value system in our future generations to enrich our culture. Enforce
positive attitude  and focus on  personality development while they are young. The soft skills are a complete miss from our Eductaion system... That can be worked on to ensure we produce the best of students all around the world. 

We don't need international to sell education, we need a complete package that works on all the attributes of child's education and grow into an independent, knowledgeable and confident individual.

That should be the motive of education and since its every child's right to seek education ... It should have a well planned and calculated fee structure, which is economical for the parents to bear  instead of  burdening them. No one should be allowed to go overboard in  order to sell his institute and create disparity in the name of education among kids as well as parents.

Reviving the art of appreciation

Kids become not what we want them to but what we are to them. It won't be wrong to say that kids in most cases are just the mirror image of their parents. From the time they are born till the age of six, they have a great sense of observation and their ability to imitate helps them learn and adapt to the world.

Kids are best at learning new things because of their curious nature and ability to get accustomed. Inspite of being blessed with such miraculous inner strength and will..

Why do some kids lag behind when it comes to their confidence and self esteem ??

One thing that can cause hinderance in their learning can be a fear of failure and Parents lack of
patience and support.

We all need a boost irrespective of our age or task we are trying to achieve. To get the best in a child or an adult is to show confidence in whatever milestones they are trying to reach..and that needs lots
of boost of morale through the words of appreciation and encouraging behaviour.


                                         



Many a times we as parents fail to understand their way of doing things differently  ...we end up forgetting they are at this tender age that's far from perfection... Infact the beauty of this age is they never give up...and their curious minds help them learn from mistakes over and over again...

Appreciation is the key word in parenting. We must not forget to appreciate the efforts put by our
little ones....whatsoever may be the end result. The kids who are appreciated time and again and see a
positive response from their parents inspite of failures... end up becoming the most confident children
and keep the courage to try different challenges in life.

Few words of appreciation can do wonders not only for your kids but also helps build a bond  between a child and the parent.


After years of togetherness ... We even forget to appreciate our partners and their achievements or
may be little things about them ...which once brought them closer... Infact those little things that go unnoticed now are the biggest reasons of  distance and monotony between the partners.

I simply feel we all yearn for appreciation in any form ...be it work, looks, personality or just a thought... a word of appreciation or a simple complement can make you feel so much worth it. It makes you feel that your efforts have been noticed and the thought gives a boost to ones mood and

brings joy and pride.

We want to be appreciated in all spheres of life in different roles we play ....Be it at work, at home, as a mother, father or more....

What restricts us from appreciating not just others but ourselves too??

We become so consumed by our own fixed thoughts, ideas, reactions, behaviours that we stop bothering about others feelings, emotions and needs ...so does others. In order to like and appreciate others one must be sensitive to others needs n open-hearted...many people envy when it comes to seeing others in a better place than them..

Infact this unhealthy competitive spirit is neither going to be appreciated by others nor its gonna do any good to us.

We must learn and practice this art of appriciation in our daily lives ...be it with our kids, family
friends or even enemies...Hahahah (might turn them into friends)

I revived this long forgotten art when I became a mother..and felt the need of being appreciated for my own efforts... I gradually realised that appreciating my chid for the simplest of things he tried doing made a huge difference in his approach towards learning...and added to the fun.


Why is it so easy to appreciate a child but not an adult??

A child's innocence makes us spill our heart out and we can't keep ourselves from showing our love in abundance... as we get more in return, regardless of any ego and expectancy... However our expectations vary when it comes to an adult and we choose to ignore the fact that there is a room for appreciation.

Appreciation is an art that needs to be practiced with our friends, family and ourselves too as it doesn't come easy.. Our kids will pick this art by watching us do it everyday and will remain grateful life long for giving that extra sense of realisation and expression through gratitude.

The most beautiful thing about Appreciation is it works both ways ...We can.. not only bring a smile to others but to ourselves too ...as it feels equally gud to compliment others as it feels to be complimented.

So let's get addicted to this life changing tool and uplift someone's mood and make their day... People will treasure fond memories forever.Simple things like love,  kindness, grace and gratitude can go a long way in making this world a beautiful place to be ...

Spread positivity among young ones through praise and recognition.. It's the only way to bring out the best in kids. A positive enforcement of ideas along with little words of appreciation not only teaches them to value what they are today but also gives them an extra sense of confidence and trust that they can take over the world tommorow.

Are you raising a helpless or an independent child?

Times have changed and so are the ways of Parenting. Thanks to the fast paced life especially in metros...where youngsters look for all the reasons to escape from Marriage. Even when they are finally tied into this relationship with the pressures from friends and family ....they run away from the responsibility of becoming parents and avoid it as long as they can until they again fall prey to the pressures of family and society.

Due to the changing lifestyle, Most of the couples choose to become parents at a later stage and at times with difficulty too... That's one reason they become so protective and sensitive that they don't even realize when they start shielding their kids. They become so habitual of restricting their kids and impose their ways of doing things that they do more harm than good by not allowing child to function independently.



Parents unknowingly get into the way of anything and everything that leads to a child's growth...be it social skills, his creativity or his self confidence.

Is that what we call overprotective or hypersensitive parents ?
Well, we all love and care about our kids...and panic too when the situation calls for but there are many parents who want to protect their kids even when there is no harm around... What I am trying to say is for instance if a kid is playing in a ground ...they are repeatedly instructed not to play in the sand, not to get dirty, not to get hurt and so on.... Enforcing too many No's & Don't's lead to overprotection and hampers childs confidence to be able to do anything by himself. Such parents constantly shadow their kids and direct their behaviour so much so that they end up deciding their friends too.

Isn't falling n getting little bruises a part of growing up ?...

Where are the days when our parents let us free in the fields and brought us up rough & tough.



It's not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. Ann Landers 
Over concerned parents diminish the child's growth mentally, which in turn effects their thinking and decision Making abilities.

Then what's the right way to do it ?

The best way to see your kids learn and grow is to let them free... More than anything else they want a go-ahead to try different challenges in day today life... Nothing is more thrilling for them to be able to do things they see others do with ease.. Our mere presence for them is the assurance as well a protection that they need from parents.

World is a scary place to be and how can we let these little kids be on their own?
The best way to deal with all your worries as a parent is to make your kid aware of the little realities of life...and educate them of what can help them in situations that are not so safe as home.



I made my four years old remember my mobile number by letting him dial through the landline and spoke to him for fun. But I had never imagined this fun would one day turn out to be the biggest learning for him ...

It was a sunday evening, I decided to take my son to a near by mall... While returning as we stepped out, he lost my sight watching other kids play and was in complete distress as he couldn't place me anywhere ...I also walked ahead thinking he is right behind me. Just after few steps I turned to hold his hands as I was nearing the main road ...I was taken aback when I didn't see him around... I ran back in a flash looking out for him, when I get a call on my phone... Usually I don't pick unknown numbers ... N especially in a rush I didn't want to but something clicked and I answered the call....to my surprise a man called saying are you ronnie's mother?...he is with me.

Totally baffled I rushed back in haste and spotted my son wailing out of anxiety ...I immediately held him n broke down in tears ... Though I quickly regained my composer to calm him down and took a sigh of relief.

This unanticipated episode not just left me perplexed but was also an awakening call for me. The thought what if he didn't know my number kept reminding me how I needed to make conscious effort of making my child independent. I couldn't have been more proud of my little baby's presence of mind and brave act.. He not only remembered my number but also had the courage to walk up to someone and ask for help in a situation of distress ...

This was the day when I realised kids are smarter than we think... Many times we make a mistake of treating them like kids and don't pay attention to their thoughts and ideas but not to forget they are young minds of 21st century who can give a run for money to many people with their sharp brains.




We must share all important information to make them aware of what can happen and how can they safe guard themselves.

We can't be with and around them 24/7 ..its always advisable to share with them what if something unexpected happens ... How can they deal with it or seek someone's help. Make them aware of the surroundings, the names of the places, your address, the route back home from near by places ect. Kids remeber what they are told, the general talks we share while travelling or at home can lead them to learn many facts of life.



Age is no bar for knowledge and learning. In fact kids learn faster than adults and moreover some of the greatest learnings have not been taught in school but were the mistakes made by few. The most important thing that we as parents can give our kids would be the freedom to think, act and speak.

This leads to kids being more responsible and confident in situations as they know they are not helpless...